I would like to apologize in advance for the things I am about to say.
(Make note that I am still going to say them, which negates the
essence of the apology only completely. I mean, really. If someone
apologizes with any sincerity, what they are saying is that the regret
they feel will prohibit them from performing said offense ever again
through shame on their very soul. Remorse has thus out-weighed any
pleasure derived from the actionable in such a way as to cause
contrition to the point of forbidding. By apologizing before doing the
thing fully intended on doing, one is simply being a dick. Which is
what I am doing...being a dick. But if the shoe fits...)
I really do not mean to point fingers or offend terribly, or maybe I
do. I don't know. My conscience tells me that I don't actually give a
fuck, like I got a pocket full of fucks, but won't give one. (Thank
you Chris Rock.) However, I would like to share something with you,
whoever you are, that pisses me off. (Like a condom on the ceiling:
pissed off.) I will try to keep this in the realm of brevity, but any
of you who know me know that is a lie, like my former apology and when
I tell my ex-girlfriends I will see them later. (Yeah, not if I see
them first.)
Pussification: actions or beliefs through elements which were at one
time stronger and more reliable are weakened, softened or other ways
made debilitated through emotional means such as fear, insecurity,
emotional projection or other ways illogical means. Eg: "He used to
race cars, but after the crash, he's been pussified and wants all cars
that drive over 20 miles per hour to be banned."
I derive this from the slang term commonly used by men to refer to
other men, whom they want to do something obviously stupid and
dangerous at the sake of all common sense. (Side note, I like to think
men are smart enough to tell right from wrong, safe from deadly,
should from should not, but if you ever want them to do something that
crosses that thin red line, just call him a pussy and watch that
Neanderthal jump off a bridge. Lost many good men at the end of that
word.)
I mean this in no way as a slight towards women or vagina. Ask anyone
who knows me and they will tell you I am a fervent champion of women
and women's rights, especially where sex with them comes into play. I
love women. Good women, bad women, all women. Love me some women. Not
trying to make too fine a point on the subject, but if you have never
made love to a woman, you are really missing out. They are beautiful,
soft, warm, wet, delicious, incredible to the point that I am at a
loss for words about it. 99% of the time when I say the word "pussy" I
am not referring to a cat or a scared male, I'm talking about the
greatest body part since the medulla oblongata. Again not negative,
huge fan of the organ and the rest of the beautiful people that house
it.
No, I am talking about the tempering of the human spirit by way of
pussification. It is making this world (especially the United States)
dumber, fatter and lazier and I am genuinely upset.
As I have said progress demands sacrifice. Sympathy is a crutch for
people to feel better about being mired in crapulence, and not change.
Facebook was a good idea until every person used it to garner
agreements on why their breakfast didn't taste good or they wasted two
hours watching a shitty film. Personal accountability is of utmost
importance to self-improvement and is being beaten to death with the
soft, padded pillows of accommodation. Help is one thing, but feeling
sorry for yourself nets nothing positive. It's the old axiom of "feed
a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man how to get off his
ass and go out and get his own damn fish and he will feed a fucking
nation", or something like that.
Personal accountability, not making excuses but rather making strides
to eradicate failure. Marconi invented the radio and it took him
something like twenty years to accomplish. What if his wife had gone
to him after a few days and told him, that he was just fine without
solving that mean old radio problem? (I know that is not true, but I
am using it to make a point, so let's just assume that happened. He
and Puff the Magic Dragon invented the radio in a cave with some tin
cans and a shoelace.) Monkeys died so that Yuri Gagarin could be the
first man in space, a great moment in human evolution. Great leaps of
faith require great courage and telling someone it is not their fault
because they are fucking up only allows them to further fuck things
up. The greatest accomplishments in history have always come at the
tails of the greatest adversities. Difficulty requires ability to
overcome. Holding hands and singing Bob Dylan songs does not stop a
nuclear holocaust. Dismantling plutonium with your own two hands does
though.
Idealists make me cringe when they get their way, because in this
world when given a choice between taking the easy path to nominal
success or the hard path to glorious triumph, most will always choose
the easy choice. I am all for having the choice, what I am against is
the special interest groups that tell people that either choice is
equally good. Ross Perot was nuts, but he had a great quote: "When you
see a snake you don't appoint a committee to deal with snakes, you
kill the snake." It's the spirit of success, the triumph of the human
spirit and it is something all humanity can get behind to form a sense
of solidarity. America is not supposed to be the land of the lazy, and
the home of the
people-who-wanted-to-do-something-but-it-got-too-hard-so-we-invented-a-colored-ribbon-to-fight-cancer-instead.
Pick up a book, learn medicine, cure that fucking cancer, even if it
takes you 30 years to do it.
Brevity be damned. As you can tell, this is a rather sensitive subject
for me. I am against all forms of pussification as a general rule. I
think all people are capable and are doing the best they can with the
best they have, but if we settle for that, our best will never get
better. Our children will be as dumb as us and that frightens and
upsets me. Censorship, banning freedoms, illegalizing the word
"Christmas" because you don't want to offend those who don't celebrate
it is not addressing the issues at all. That is just pretending that
you are making a difference by living in the illusion that porn, guns
and Christmas don't even exist. If those things are that bad, do
something about it. Push a fucking button, you pussy. Pretty please
with sugar on top, nut the fuck up or shut the fuck up.
Even if you are wrong, make the necessary progress. Hell, the next
generation will know it is bullshit and make even more progress
repealing your stupid decisions anyway, but the point is that they
will make it; they will send that fucking monkey into space; they will
dismantle that fucking bomb; they will cure every fucking plague,
because they have the courage to pick their lazy asses up and drag the
rest of humanity into the next millennium because they know strength
comes from within and pussies go without.
Legalize everything and bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia!
...and as always, God bless America.
(P.S. Spell checker has a REAL issue with the word "pussification". I
was trying to find a segue for that somewhere in here. *Sigh* A
ranting lunatic can only dream. On a positive note, for the tags on
this blog here is what I listed: Pussy, Pussification, dick, porn,
fuck, condom, sex, ass, women, nut, hell, Alfredo Garcia. Now that is
hilarious to me as it is not TECHNICALLY false advertising as all
those words are in this posting, but the kind of audience that is
looking for that will be pretty sore with this I think. Serves you
right, you perverts. Let's all get together and make them a ribbon.)
No comments:
Post a Comment